Messed around and took photos with keira. Just laying in bed reading now and listening to relaxing music. Im beginning to work on music. 

Yo otber month i strolled into some mans house cause i was buying weed and the dude was like white house with porch and i got there on google maps and was a white house with a porch and yooo you shouldve seen that mans face i thought he was gonna try and punch me or some shit and somehow he just knew i was looking to buy somethin it was a mess i was just like petting his dogs in his HOUSE lmao

I owe my train of thought
To my former self
And of my lifeless rot,
I owe that to my health

The wishes that i keep
I owe that to my stealth

For all that i am,
Is who that i was

I dont add up. Im like a trapeze artist slipping farther down the ropes. I somehow catch the next but with less and less certainty. Im a underacheiver. Im not confident with my progress. The puzzle pieces are fitting but im just throwing the pieces down. Nothing is calculated everything is just by chance working. Im not ahead im not trying hard enough. Im failing. I am not taking control im letting the world control me. The only way ill be happy is if i try harder. Push my brain to new pointsget sore and suceed.

Im 19 but ive aged about 30 years

I was told when i worked at wendys a few times that i looked way too happy for being at my job. None of them realized that that is what i was being payed for. Actually i was made fun of by workers too, a few times to the face but im sure a lot behind my back. Once a new girl was there and had to watch me and she made fun of my voice while i was taking an order and then proceeded to actually ask the customers how they felt about it. I teared up haha because i guess i am so sensitive. She grew on me quickly though she was so different and outspoken and from a very different generation but so young hearted.  i just felt like that was the only appropiate demeanor, they didnt need to know a thing about me, im just like the wawa computer. Even the wawa computer things are delightful a little bit right? All the colors they put and maybe a little cute animation. Me just being nice is like that to computers. Im just being payed to be a pleasant information pathway. I sincerely hope that i dont have to work another job like that though! I dont want to have to talk to people that i dont know as the main job, it was fine but i just dreaded going and i cannot stand that feeling!

STRESSED AS FUCK