I dont add up. Im like a trapeze artist slipping farther down the ropes. I somehow catch the next but with less and less certainty. Im a underacheiver. Im not confident with my progress. The puzzle pieces are fitting but im just throwing the pieces down. Nothing is calculated everything is just by chance working. Im not ahead im not trying hard enough. Im failing. I am not taking control im letting the world control me. The only way ill be happy is if i try harder. Push my brain to new pointsget sore and suceed.